What's the SECRET to Actually Enjoying Living With Your Adult Child?
Do you think it's possible to LOVE living with your adult child?
With the housing market out of control, the economy in the shitter, and finding a job in their field nearly impossible, more young adults are back home than ever before. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy this period of time.
The question is how?
My interview with New York Times bestselling author Julie Lythcott-Haims answers exactly that. After writing, How to Raise an Adult, published in 2015, Julie was convinced both of her children would be launched after college. Five years later, COVID hit and her kids came home from college. Her daughter left when everything settled, but today, her 26-year-old son is living at home - and she's beyond grateful to have him there.
What's different about Julie's situation? Why is it working when so many parents feel stuck, frustrated, or feel as if they're walking on eggshells in their own homes?
How to Love Living With Your Adult Child
In episode #64 of my podcast LAUNCH, Julie walks us through what a healthy adult-to-adult relationship actually looks like under the same roof, what she and her husband had to go through, how her son was struggling, and what they did as a family to make it work. I'll give you a clue; it requires a completely different kind of parenting than what you've ever done before.
We also tackle one of the biggest questions on every parent's mind: why have so many young adults "quietly quit" being productive, responsible and independent adults? Julie shares her perspective on what's really happening with this generation. But here's where it gets really practical. Julie and I dive deep into boundaries, consequences and what roles healthy adult children should be playing in the home. You'll be really pleased to hear what she has to say.
Who is Julie Lythcott-Haims?
If you don't know who Julie Lythcott-Haims is, she's a highly respected author, speaker and activist. She did a Ted Talk called Raising Successful Kids Without Overparenting that has now been viewed over 8.2 million times. You can only imagine how honored I was to have Julie as my guest on LAUNCH.
This conversation felt less like an interview and more like a heartfelt discussion between two people who care deeply about helping parents who are living with their young adults. We talked about what's happening in the home, the challenges parents are facing, the issues that young adults are dealing with, and what it actually takes for a family of adults to truly enjoy living together.
Have the Hard Conversations
Julie and I discussed the importance of connection with your adult child so that you can have the hard conversations. Talking about boundaries - yours and theirs, what they are and why they matter, is what might be missing in your home. Those are the hard conversations, and if you don't know how to express yourself without sounding bitchy and controlling, you'll avoid them forever. If you need help, I've created a guide called, Understanding Boundaries: 25 Ready-to-Use Boundaries. The link is below.
We also talk about consequences. The 'what happens' if they are not being respectful in the home, not following through, not participating or contributing. This conversation with Julie reaffirms the importance of sharing what you need in your home to live enjoyably, peacefully, and respectfully with your adult child under one roof.It is possible to love living with them. But you've got to do the work.
Warmest Regards,
Shari
Shari Jonas, B.A., M.A, F.L.E.
Parenting Consultant | Author | Host of LAUNCH
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