Truth Bombs, Tough Love and Parenting Tips
The Power of Following Through
Years ago, one of my kids attended a private high school as part of a four-year program designed to prepare them for university. During their second year, their grades began to slip. I gave multiple warnings that if things did not improve, I would have to stop paying for this private education and they’d have to go to the public school. I believed that would be enough motivation. But it wasn’t.
When their final report card came in and nothing had changed, I followed through. They were devastated and angry. But it was the consequence of their actions. Regardless, they were having a hard time with the decision. So I decided they needed professional support to process what had happened and to take responsibility for their actions. I interviewed several therapists and ultimately chose one because of his no-nonsense approach.
That’s what my kid needed.
Full Circle
Over the next few months, real progress happened. There was clarity, accountability, and growth. Eventually, the sessions ended and I had made one promise to my child. If they brought their grades back to where they needed to be the previous year, I would re-enroll them in the private school so they could graduate alongside the friends and teachers they loved. They did the work. Their grades improved dramatically. And I followed through. It was an incredible lesson on the power of consequences and following through. My guest on this week's episode is that therapist from fifteen years ago, Neal Solomon.
Truth Bombs, Tough Love and Tips for Parents of Struggling Adult Children
If you enjoy listening to parenting podcasts, but you’ve never listened to mine, I think you’ll like Episode #60: Truth Bombs, Touch Love and Tips for Parents of Struggling Adult Children. Neal and I talk openly about what’s happening with young adults today, what parents are getting wrong (truth bomb) and what needs to happen.
In his private practice, now over 20 years old, Neal is seeing chaos, confusion, and a loss of parental leadership.
The Bottom Line
Parents want to be liked. They want to keep up with the Joneses. They’re also exhausted, guilty, and unsure how to deal with the fallout of their actions (or lack thereof). And the result? Young adults are isolated in their bedrooms, overwhelmed by screens, disengaged from real life, struggling with motivation, anger, anxiety, and depression, and unable to tolerate challenges. If nothing changes, what will happen to them when they’re parents are gone?
No Sugarcoating
Neal and I don’t sugarcoat what’s going on. We talk about entitlement, the lack of discipline, and the absence of structure that many families are now living with. We also talk about the uncomfortable truth many parents do not want to hear. Truth bomb #2.
Fear, guilt, and the desire to keep kids happy have quietly replaced limits, expectations, and follow-through. But there is a silver lining.
Boundaries and Consequences
We also talk about why boundaries and consequences feel so hard for parents to set and even harder to hold.
I will say this over and over; boundaries are not punishment. They provide structure, routine and instill respect. Consequences should never be empty threats. They teach young people that they’re in control of their choices and actions. And that’s what builds real confidence.
Of course, there will be resistance. But avoiding these is exactly what keeps kids stuck.
If you’re tired of walking on eggshells, tired of over-functioning, and tired of wondering how things got this far, this conversation will give you perspective, validation, and permission for change.
Stop saying, I can’t force them. Stop giving away your power. Start talking to your adult kid about their behavior and that you are unwilling to allow it to carry on anymore. Not under your roof.
And remember these words when they give you a hard time, “Change is not an option.”
P.S Registration for the newly formatted parenting course is open. Click to learn more about it HERE:
P.S.S Struggling with Boundaries? Understanding Boundaries includes 25 Ready-to-Use Boundary-Setting Statements. These are written sentences that you can adapt to your own personal situation, but do not modify the structure.
Plus, you'll get 2 powerful bonuses:
Bonus #1:The Confidence Cheat Sheet
Bonus #2: 2 Types of Parents Who Struggle with Boundaries
Your adult child can learn to listen and respect you. It starts with how you communicate your expectations and boundaries because that’s what they need to become responsible, productive and independent adults.
Get the Understanding Boundaries Guide + 2 Bonuses. Click Access Below.
You deserve to be valued. And your adult child deserves a parent who communicates with confidence and clarity.
Access the Boundaries Guide & Bonuses Here!
Warmest Regards,
Shari
Shari Jonas, B.A., M.A, F.L.E.
Parenting Consultant | Author | Host of LAUNCH
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